love someone vulnerable today...

If you know someone considered “vulnerable” by today’s COVID-19 standards, check on them.  Chances are they are feeling a bit sad.  As the world comes out from quarantine – some slowly, some excitedly jumping back into life … we are left to agonize over what is safe.

And no one knows.

I’m all, give me the rules – then I will shake off my anxiety knowing I am doing what I am supposed to do to be safe.   Instead I get, “We just don’t know.”  “The safest thing is to continue to shelter in place until there is a vaccine… but I know that’s not realistic for your family.” “Do the best you can.”

Which leads to a constant struggle of what is and isn’t ok for me,  Jay or our very stir crazy teenagers.

 So far, the “best I can” has run the range of only going to my office when it is empty and conducting business for nearly 4 months via zoom to “fuck it” and letting Bennett’s best friend spend the night complete with a giant good-night bear hug.   Most of the time I’m somewhere in the middle.

The element that doesn’t waver is the disappointment and frustration of being “vulnerable.”   It’s hard enough having stage 4 cancer, facing progression, treatment changes & side effects.  But doing it without friends and hugs and social gatherings really blows.  Especially as you watch everyone else getting back together. 

 I will adapt – I’m getting better at air hugs and 10-foot conversations in the fresh air. 

What I worry about mostly is our boys and what expectations are fair or, frankly, realistic to place on them as we create this “new normal.”   Yesterday Wills told me, “Mom, no one is really doing the face mask thing anymore.”    And, he’s right.   But, should I still make him wear one?  Will he?   Ugh – what 15-year-old boy wants to be the only one wearing a face mask? 

If you know someone who is nervous & anxious or navigating this with a compromised immune system, under lying health issue or lucky enough to be over 65… give them some love.   Be respectful of their wishes to social distance.  Or, in my case – remind them they need to keep social distancing and it’s not an over-reaction… even though they would prefer to just get back to normal!

Remember when you make choices and take precautions you are doing so for us.  That annoying face mask is a sign of kindness.

Thank you.

Treasure a spontaneous laugh. Be grateful for your wellness. Live! each new day.

Me, 10 feet away but surrounded by love.